my 'stay at home' thankfulness list

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down to blog about this social distancing / self-quarantine sitch we are in. It’s a lot. But I don’t want to be the whine and complainer blogger—we have WAY too many of them. Distressing. So I’m going to list things I’m thankful for.

1. My family is together. I know of several families unexpectedly separated, and I think that would kill me. Grateful to be with my babies and my love.

2. Technology allows connection at an unparalleled level. We had more than a dozen friends and family members watch as we live-streamed our daughter’s first birthday cake smash. (It wasn’t very smashy, TBH, more like a gentle, single-finger cake poke.) We played Bingo this morning with over a dozen kids. We did Star Wars trivia with our neighbors. We played JackBox with our besties. We Facebook video my mom and mother-in-law from our backyard swingset. My son had a Zoom meeting with his whole fourth grade class.

3. We are healthy. Despite my husband’s medical career, we are all asymptomatic.

4. These are the best days of my dog’s life. It’s like early summer. MY BOYS ARE HOME, MY BOYS ARE HOME. But also, he’s at some weird canine fat camp since my gym is closed. He’s run soooo many miles with us, and it was an abrupt change from couch potato to elite athlete. Woof.

5. We have what we need. We are currently running a little low on produce, but this is such a great excuse to carbo load. Mmmm bread. Also, so many people are not able to access what their families need.

6. Around-the-house projects are getting done. The honey-do list is rapidly become a honey-done list.

7. I work from home anyway. The marketing firm I’m a part of is remote anyway. We are doing more Zoom calls, but generally, it’s business as usual for me — albeit, with way more background noise.

8. AMAZON. AMAZOOOOOON. AAAAAAAMAZON. Thank you, delivery peeps. Literally as I’m typing this, a man delivered diapers to my front porch.

9. My sons’ teachers and schools. They are doing their best to connect with the kids in a massive way. My first grader’s school even did a car parade where the teachers looped the neighborhoods beeping from cars decorated with funny GO BOBCATS signs.

10. My church. My church family is in CONSTANT communication. There are texts. There are videos. There are push notifications from the app. There are Facebook groups. There are Zoom Bible studies. We are hanging together as the body, despite a complete absence of the laying on of hands or any holy kiss.

nashville christian family march issue

March issue released! My article is on page 14.

Read it here!

what to ask with a newborn foster placement

A friend got a call today that she’s getting her first placement as a foster parent: a newborn baby boy. Her questions made me want to put together a list of suggestions to ask if you’re picking up a newborn. These are different than the questions you might ask for the placement of an older child.

How much does baby weigh?

You might think this question matters to help you pick up the right diapers (and it does), or to know what size clothes to get (also key). But the reason this is specifically relevant to newborns is the car seat. Both hospitals we’ve picked up babies from have a social services staffer who checks the car seat against the child’s weight. For example, if the baby is 4 lb 8 oz and your “newborn” car seat is labelled for 6-30 pounds—they won’t let you leave. Our favorite infant car seat is the Chicco Keyfit which is labelled for infants down to 4 pounds (which we’ve had several times). Find out the current weight (not the birthweight since babies almost always lose weight for the first day or two after birth) particularly if the baby is a preemie or IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction) due poor material nutrition.

What is baby eating?

If baby is eating breastmilk from birthmother or from a donor, ask the hospital how much they will send you home with. Then (following their instructions), try to mix it with formula to make the transition easy. If baby is already on formula, ask what brand and which selection so you can get the same and transition slowly to whatever brand you prefer. Better to avoid discovering on your first night that the orange brand gives the poor baby gas!

Is baby using a pacifier?

Sometimes newborns aren’t attached to a pacifier yet, but if yours is, better to ask than be helpless. Find out exactly what brand and size the hospital is using so you can get a few.

When will baby be discharged?

You might get a call on Monday morning, but depending on when baby was born and depending on his/her circumstances, baby might not be ready to come home for 24-48 hours. Ask if they have an estimate on when the hospital typically discharges babies so you know what to expect, then be flexible. Better to ask so you aren’t surprised by either rushing or waiting.

Has baby boy been circumcised?

The reason I tell you to ask this is that you may not change the diaper during hospital pick up, and the process for diapering a boy who’s had this procedure is a little different (Vaseline and sterile pads, angled right or you just get a flood out and over the diaper!). One of the little guys we had experienced some complications during the surgery, and I’m glad that we had already talked to the doctor about what went wrong during the procedure (or I might have had a heart attack).

Just like you would with all foster care placements, I’d also ask about family medical history so you can prepare, about visitation expectations (state date, frequency, length), and about what kinship options are being explored.

Happy parenting!

Foster Care and Social Distancing

What happens in a foster care home evaluation?

Foster Parent Wish List

Why Foster Parents Don’t Want to Hear “You’re Such a Good Person”