If you haven’t read more of my blogs, you won’t know I’ve been a foster parent for over a decade. So I tend to try and avoid books like Before We Were Yours since they can feel either (1) really personally devastating or (2) overly saccharine with a false happy ending.
Stories need a bad guy. And books about foster care and adoption, I find, have to pick a bad guy, too, and it’s usually the sexually abusive foster parents. Not saying it doesn’t happen (of course it does) but that is not something I like to read for fun. Of course, historically, a lot of people want the bad guy to be the birth parents which is often unfair, too. Again, not saying it doesn’t happen (of course it does) but let’s not just jump to conclusions that all kids in the system have terrible birth parents — because they don’t.
I didn’t LOVE this book, but I can see why a lot of people did. It presents the truth/horror of what Georgia Tann did, but allows you a believably pleasant ending by making the HEA primarily about the next generation.
For a book with a lot of historical value, there’s a bit too much cloak-and-dagger mystery with the modern storyline of a grandchild (or IS she?!) trying to figure out her family’s sordid (or SWEET?!) past. I do appreciate that the author was trying to get people to read a fictionalized book on a tough topic, and I’ll grant this flourish of mystery was probably a marketable way to do it.
The book asks some important questions about healing from trauma, foster care, adoption, and poverty. Not many books about adoption and foster care present the good, the bad, and the ugly, and this one does.
The truth is, every adoption breaks up one family—even as it forms another. It’s always bittersweet.
Worth the read, even if I won’t ever rave about it. Too close to home for me to consider much on this topic “entertainment",” but this story still has merit and should be told.
