book review: the extraordinary life of sam hell

Sam Hill was born with bright red eyes (ocular albinism) and got his name when Mr. Hill walked into the hospital room and yelled, “What the sam hell is wrong with his eyes?”

The Extraordinary Life of Sam Hell by Robert Dugoni follows Sam from birth through years of school bullying until he reaches a stage of somewhat normalcy thanks to two special friends who also stand out (one for being the only black kid in a Catholic school and one for being a troublemaker with a good heart). He becomes an eye doctor on the mission field, worldwide, helping children with special vision needs. Ultimately, when he returns home, he is able to undo some damage from the past and bring some healing to places it was needed.

This story surprised me in so many ways. First, a very thoughtful approach to faith since a huge portion of the story revolves around his mother’s steadfast Catholic religion and the religious schools he attends. So refreshing to read a story where people are people — three dimensional with good qualities and mistakes and irritating habits and redeeming moments. The story’s heavy faith component is important because Sam is able to see only with maturity that his mother’s trite sayings are deeply meaningful to her, and even get a sense for himself that his faith is still relevant to his everyday life. There’s a great revelation that faith is more than attending church or going to confession or doing a rosary, and that his mother’s desire to do those things isn’t really what embodies her faith. It might be all he can see, but he learns that she is greatly empowered by her beliefs.

I related strongly to Sam’s mom’s desire to protect her son from bullying but also to his father’s desire for his son to live a normal life. The friends he makes are believable even if the bully is not. (The bully is just a bully, because his father before him was a bully, and that’s really all you get.) I didn’t even start shipping him with the romance interest until partway into the book which I think is somewhat remarkable. You find yourself learning along with Sam how people relate to him authentically or inauthentically based on his ‘condition’ as his mother calls it.

Disclaimer: This book contains two sexual scenes. They aren’t long, but I always want to warn you when I’m reviewing books.

Another Casualty of the Pandemic: The Foster Care System

In a “normal” year, 400,000 children are in the US foster care system. That’s 1 out of every 184 American children. The pandemic has brought havoc to this already overstrained system in an unexpected way.

While child welfare calls have gone down—for example, reports of child maltreatment in New York City dropped 51 percent in the spring of last year compared to the same period in 2019[1]—most experts agree kids are not safer. In fact, the heightened stress and insecurity of this crisis has likely increased abuse, neglect, and other factors that would normally necessitate intervention. But with schools, day cares, and community life closed or on hold, fewer mandated reporters and even concerned neighbors are interacting with kids who might be in need.

One county in North Carolina reported a spike in the number of children actually removed from homes in the fall of 2020, even though reporting calls were down 20%. Wake County Child Welfare saw an added, disturbing change: while 83 percent of removals are typically due to neglect, social workers found nearly half during the pandemic, 45% were because of abuse[2]. Fewer reports but more removals with a higher percentage of abuse paints a dreary picture of the life of the American child enduring this crisis.

A complicating factor for this catastrophe is many counties are reporting low numbers of foster homes. Working parents who aren’t able to be home with foster children when schools are closed, worries about spreading the virus, generally increased stress and uncertainty, the average higher age of foster parents, and other factors are making it harder for agencies to recruit willing families. For example, Dane County in Wisconsin has 385 children in foster care, but only 165 foster homes—their lowest number of homes in the last decade[3]. Stark County Children’s Services in Ohio reported that 10% of the foster parents on their regular roster are no longer able to take in new children at this time[4]. Nationwide, scattered reports from desperate agencies echo more of the same: dropping numbers of foster parent applications.

Additionally, with courts limiting procedures or even temporarily closing, more children are staying in foster care instead of being granted permanency (whether via reunification with their family or through another permanent resource).  For example, in California, almost 4,300 fewer children left foster care between October 2019 and September 2020 compared with the same time frame a year earlier[5]. A child’s average stay in the foster care system is already over a year[6], and extending that time only further stresses the system and each individual child’s development.

Older children in foster care, particularly those who are aging out of the system or nearing that age, are not immune to the economic and emotional impact of the pandemic. One in four 18- to 24-year-olds who are (or were) in foster care experienced heightened food insecurity since the pandemic began. In addition, about 40% were forced to move or feared having to move, nearly 33% said they only had enough money for a week or less of living costs, and 27% of transition-age foster care youth lost their jobs because of the pandemic[7].

So, what is your calling to the hurting kids of our country?

Most experts agree that an overwhelming surge of kids is about to hit the foster care system. As restrictions are lifted and more sunshine enters dark places, abuse and neglect that has been hidden for months is going to expose the needs of an unprecedented number of children.

But the question we face is not, “What can our nation do to help hundreds of thousands of children?”

The question is, “What can I do to change one child’s life?”

[1] Administration for Children's Services

[2] WRAL, https://www.wral.com/19522214/

[3] NBC15, https://www.nbc15.com/2021/01/06/fostering-through-covid-pandemic-brings-foster-care-system-families-new-challenges/

[4] MSN, https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/pandemic-shortage-more-foster-families-needed/ar-BB1cPj97

[5] California Child Welfare Indicators Project

[6] 14.7 months, childwelfare.gov

[7] Foster Club study, March 2020

book review: long way gone

Amazon says Long Way Gone by Charles Martin is a modern retelling of the parable of the prodigal son. It’s not. However, aside from that being a ridiculous description, the book was a fun read. There were too many deus ex machina moments for me to say it was a great read — specifically, three highly over-contrived moments that stood out — but I still enjoyed the story.

In summary: Cooper grows up as the musical side of his pastor-father’s tent revivals. But he longs to be a songwriter and flees to Nashville where he falls in love with a singer named Daley. A scheming manager and terrible injury destroy their relationship. Years later, Cooper returns to his hometown, and Daley passes through to sing at his club. They rekindle their relationship and help each other learn about faith and forgiveness.

I’m not super musical, but I’m music literate. So I enjoyed much of the concept of the musician being trained in dozens of styles standing out among professionals who only know their own thing. I also enjoyed hearing about beautiful Music City as well as getting a new grasp on the shorthand professionals use to annotate music. Fun glimpses.

In a sweet moment between the two main characters, the protagonist (the male) observes that his girlfriend often touches him without realizing it or looking over, almost like she’s sending out a sonar ping to see how close he is and make sure he is still within proximity. I chuckled because I think I do that to my husband, and the idea of sonar ping makes me feel like we are submarines. But I think it was mostly that most of the book analogies are auditory due to the musical story.

One thing jumped out that probably isn’t new to many people but the protag also makes the observation that what sets a great musician apart from a good musician isn’t how many notes s/he can play, but knowing which notes to leave out. That is a profound statement, as I believe the same is true for writers (or aspiring ones, like me). It isn’t the length of the sentence or the paragraph or the novel, it’s choosing the right words and not adding anything unnecessary.

I also don’t personally enjoy angels appearing and talking to people in books — I find that distracting — and that happens on several occasions.

Reasons this is not at all the parable of the prodigal son:

• There is no older son - a HUGE element to the lesson of this parable

• The father dies before the son returns so WHAT and HOW. Just no. I mean that is literally the point.

• The son hits rock bottom but then becomes wildly successful in his chosen field.

basement renovation process: start to finish

The basement had a host of problems, and we only found MORE as we did the renovation. Fortunately, I’m married to a resilient, handy genius who solves anything.

Demolition

Here’s where we discovered all the giant sewer pipes the shelves were hiding. That’s why they were so shallow! We decided to just move up the entire wall and add a crawl space accessible from the garage. You can hardly tell a difference from inside the room. (We also discovered a mouse cemetery. Super gross.)

Electrical, Waterproofing Sealer, Insulation

New Framing

Around the pipes, adding the crawl space (accessible from the garage side)

Moving the Door

(primarily to confuse the dog) Actually, Boomer ended up LOVING his dog door. He prefers it even when we have the human door open.

Drywall

Flooring, Ceiling Tracks, Heater

Painting and Lights

Stairs, Stair rail and Storage Space

Furnishing… and Done!

You can read about the process for my awesome blue chest here. The couch was a Facebook marketplace find, as was the bookshelf. The fantastic nerd art watercolor paintings were a birthday gift for Hubs, custom by InstantGoodVibes on Etsy.

basement renovation process

Our basement needed more than new lights, more than drywall. It needed everything from the (literal) ground up. The ceiling panels had started to come loose as other projects took precedence, but one day, I’d really had it with the lack of lighting. My sewing desk had TWO table top lights, and the few remaining ceiling lights were turned on and I still felt like I simply couldn’t see to get my stitches straight. The oppressive dark paneling seemed to suck up the light like a black hole.

I begged my husband, “PLEASE can you install a new light fixture? I CAN’T SEE!” and then started dinner.

Next thing I knew, loud hammering. I went to check and part of the wall was gone.

That’s basically how every project at our house begins….

Here are some shots of the basement:

• BRIGHT fuscia carpet on the stairs.

• Old, crumbling ceiling tiles.

• Two old track lights with (combined) only three working fixtures.

• Dark paneling on the wall.

• Carpet over concrete on the floor.

• No railing on the stairs.

• Terribly placed door (90 degrees off the bottom stair, opening directly into the car you’ve parked in the garage).

• Little to no insulation so you could always smell car exhaust from parking.

• Weird shelving built in, um, everywhere but no usable storage.

• Giant wasted space under the stairs.

• Few electrical outlets.

• Weird closet with water softener built in the middle of a wall instead of in a corner.

And here’s the “after”… keep reading to see how we got from there to here! Also, bonus if you’re a sc-fi nerd and you can identify all the ships we used as wall art!

full scale kitchen reno: steps start to finish

You saw my list of kitchen issues on the last post, so here are our steps, start to finish.

We knew when we bought our house, built in 1955, that the kitchen was far less than ideal. The grand plans for it took a few years to bear fruit, but it’s been worth it. By my estimation, the steps of kitchen renovation are as follows:

1. I’m just glad our new house in a great neighborhood. The kitchen will be fine for a few years.

2. Boy, this space was planned poorly. You can only have one thing open at a time. And I can’t carry a 9x13 tray length-wise through these narrow doorways.

3. Your. Mom. Put. A. Diaper. In. The. Garbage. Compactor. WHO HAS A GARBAGE COMPACTOR

4. Nothing ever looks clean in here! ARGHHHHHHHHHH

5. I can’t stand being cut off from everyone inside this cave with its tiny, skinny doorways. And I smashed my toe AGAIN on the one-inch height difference between the floors.

6. Finally reach our (first) savings goal, and plan a kitchen with very trendy styles. Decide that’s not what you want.

7. Wait until the next year to actually build the new kitchen and be very pleased with the results.

Before (where we started)

And here are the steps to “After”…

Demolition

Open the Walls

New Framing

Electrical and Insulation

Drywall

Floor (redo old, seam in new)

Cabinets

Countertops

Backsplash

Appliances

Finished!